School for Little B!

Yes, although I'm not even showing yet, I've been advised by other thoughtful moms-to-be of the need to get a spot reserved in a solid daycare pronto....like now. In addition to costing a small (or not so small) fortune, the best centers fill up very quickly. These friends of mine have told me how hard it can be to get in a program and how they wished they started researching sooner than they did. Thank you for the advice-- I took it and now, thankfully, will not have to find contingency daycare plans. Thanks Sharon, Jenn, Tiff, and Kim for saving me.

We made a decision and thankfully, got the last spot available in Feb at the school of our choice.
I call it a school, rather than a standard daycare because of their "learning through play" philosophy that begins on Day 1. Le Chaperon Rouge is the name of the early learning school (which includes a fully accredited nursery school and private kindergarten), and its located 3 minutes from my work.

This isn't some "lets stress out your child and get them learning how to be an overacheiver by age 2" type of center. Instead, its a well-thought center that encourages children to enjoy exposure to educationally-stimulating activities. They use some Montessori principles and allow a child's development to determine when they are ready to move to a new class as opposed to making their age the primary indicator of advancement. They also show a nice balance of structured activies and free-flowing learning through playtime, which I like. Music is played at all times in the center as the arts are very fundamental to Le Chaperon Rougue's educational philosophy.

I'm also happy to know that this center will grow with our child-- its not just infant or toddler care, but will also be an excellent nursery school. They have a 100% open door policy, where they actually encourage parents to drop in whenever they want to...that's comforting as well. Clearly, they have nothing to hide and want to interact with parents. The director also mentioned that they will call often thoughout the day should they have a question or want permission to give an extra feeding or participate in a new activity. I like the fact that they want me to be as invloved as possible, even when I'm at work. When Little B gets older, he'll/she'll also be able to participate in supplemental activites during the day, including dance, gymnastics, karate and foriegn language programs.

After they move on from the Infant room, children participate in a more formalized educational plan. Very early on, they start a weekly learning regimen where they focus a specific letter, number, state, & country. The focus changes each week and as they mature, the learning in these areas is more extensive. Arts, crafts, music, and physical activity are a part of each day. They have both indoor and outdoor play yards, both of which have special "bouncy" bases/flooring to minimize accidental injuries. Oh, and there's nurse onsite every day and nutritionist who prepares breakfast and lunch for the children as well as closed-circuit video recording of every classroom at all times (and parents are invited to watch at any time).

I think Little B will be in pretty good hands, even when they aren't mine or Mike's. This was a big concern of mine as I work to balance my career and my family. I believe that I can have it all, as long as I'm willing to work hard for both. I know it won't be easy, but I feel like finding a learning center that makes us feel so comfortable is a huge piece of the puzzle that we've now put in place.

p.s. I love the comments-- keep em coming. Although, Mom, I can't imagine that I ever tested your patience. I was (and still am) a complete angel. Kidding :) Thanks for the interaction. I'm so glad that this site allows us all to share and stay updated.

Patience is a Virtue that I better start developing

So, as I round out the last part of Trimester #1, a thought has occured to me: It only takes 9 (or 10) months to create a living being. That's kinda amazing. Scrath that-- its incredible. In the grand scheme of things, its not much time at all. To think that brain, lungs, heart, bones, and about 50 other essential organs develop that quickly is quite a lot to accomplish in 9 months from start to finish.

Now, that's the "grand scheme." The view from much closer to the situation (as in carrying it) is slightly different. I want to meet Little B now. I don't want to wait. I haven't even felt Little B move yet (that happens at about 16-20 weeks according to the 18 books I'm currenly reading) and I'm already to meet him/her.

In fact, this is what I did first thing when I woke up. I ran to my laptop to check the date of Thanksgiving, 2008 online. Why? Becuase I thought that maybe it would be early again this year (like on 11/20) and that would mean my due date would be the day before and so I might be able to "suggest" to my doctor that I woudn't feel good about having to interrupt his big turkey dinner on Turkey Day and therefore, maybe we should consider options to make sure baby arrives before then. Crazy? Maybe, but I've always been eager. And now that I'm preggers, I'm taking my eagerness to a whole new level. Rest assured though, Thanksgiving is on 11/27 this year. So all that my research has ensured is that I probably won't go more than 6 days past my due date. Still that's cool. Truly, I'm not selfish--- and I know that baby will arrive when baby is ready. I'm just excited and that's a great thing.

Afterall, parenting is all about patience (from what I've been told and from what I've seen in parenting relationships around me). So, its about time I learned some patience skills. Guess that's why there's 2 more trimesters ahead. At least we're wrapping up the longest one (the first trimester is 14 weeks-- the rest are 12). One down, two to go :)

Um, some outfits are about to be retired

I'm going to look at this very positively and call this "progress." As I got dressed this morning, I noticed that some of the pant that I've had tailored to fit me correctly aren't fitting so nicely around the belly region right now. Its time for them to be retired....at least temporarily.

There's two ways to look at this--- but I'm only considering the one that means that maybe, just maybe, this is the middle step to me looking preggers, not just chunky. So, I will happily dryclean and put aside the dress pants I'm wearing today in favor of looser items that won't threaten to cut off my circulation halfway through the workday (as I predict the ones I'm wearing will do later today for the first time).

To the back of the closest they'll go....at least for awhile. Realizing that bodies change after pregnancy, I'm still hopeful that this pair won't be making a permanent exit. They're one of my favorites. We'll just have to wait (and work at it after baby) and see what happens.

Busy Weekend

We did a lot this weekend...even I'm impressed. On Friday, we went to a Cavs Game (Baby's first NBA Playoff Game). Now if they could only win again today...afterall, they're the only Cleveland team that we root for, so we'd like to see them go far. On Saturday, we did a bunch of lawn work (and by "we" I really mean "Mike," while I did laundry). Then we went over to a cookout with our friends...which later turned into game night. It was a lot of fun.

Both nights we were out past midnight, which is not a normal occurance for me as of late. But don't worry, Mom, I got tons of sleep with naps and sleeping in. Seriously, I'm quite in tune with the amount of sleep my body requires. In fact, I'm writing the melody of said "tune."

Then, this morning, we took Boomer to the track, did 2 miles, and then went to the grocery store. After the grocery store, it was off to do a little bit of shopping. We have some birthdays coming up, so I needed to pick up some gifts. I couldn't help myself from meandering into the baby sections of said stores. And yes, some of the gifts I brought home will be for Little B. Just some outfits...really cute ones that magnetically jumped into my shopping cart. I'm somewhat surprised at how little of a selction there is for neutral baby clothes. Perhaps waiting until the baby's birth is a bit old fashioned, but that's what we intend to do. I'm just surprised that there aren't more hip, neutral baby clothes. Then again, this is the first time I made it a point to look. I am quite happy with the outfits I found. Afterall, we can't have a naked "Little B" now can we? Frankly, the ones I picked are quite "ducky" if you catch my drift :)

Sleeping a bit more sound tonight

Today we got the results back from our Nuchal Translucency (NT) Screening. This bloodwork, when combined with Little B's neck measurments provides a pretty accurate risk factor for predicting possible chromosomal defects and major congenital heart problems. This first trimester screening is a rather new procedure that causes no risks to the baby.

For a 31 yr old woman, the standard risk factor of chromosomal defects (such as Downs syndrome) are 1 in 400. The news is good. Our risk factor after the series of tests decreased dramatically to 1 in 8,100....much less than the standard risk. So, we're pretty happy in the Foley camp.

Its comforting to know that things are progressing well. I'm getting calmer by the day. I must admit that the first 12 weeks of our pregnancy have been filled with a lot of joy. We've also been a bit scared of something going wrong. I'm sure that this is something most expecting parents go through, especially with their first child. Its wonderful that these tests exist to help ease the nerves of parents-to-be, or allow them some extra months to prepare and educate themselves if its possible their child may have a chromosomal abnormality.

We won't be doing any additional screens. And I'm going to sleep tonight a bit more at ease. Night, Night :)

Oh, and I forgot...

Another great thing about our appointment on Monday is that they took me off of all hormone medications. No more artificial hormones! So that's a big plus. My doctor said that everything looks really good and that they are going to continue to classify my preganancy as a low risk one. So that's great! Its very comforting to be finally classified as a regular pregnancy. What a relief!

A Beat & A Peek

Today we got to take a look, and a listen to the happenings inside "Hotel W," which is what I affectionately call my uterus (W stands for Womb-- how creative is that?).

I'll sum it up right away by saying it was a GREAT day.

First, the PEEK...

Little B's head is to the left, and he/she is laying on his/her back. On the face, there's the outline of a very cute nose and mouth (and I am convinced that there's a smile there too). On the actual screen we could see the tiny fist that was up by Little B's face and the feet at the other end, with tiny little bent legs. Its a little harder to see on the printout, but we were able to see it today. The white line from head to rump is baby's spine, which looks to be developing quite nicely.

It might not look like a whole lot, but on the screen it was way cool...complete with the blinking heartbeat. I could watch that for hours upon hours.

Next was the BEAT....

We heard the heartbeat! Funny story...Little B was wide awake this morning at our appointments. In fact, my doctor laughed as we'd hear the beat for 10 seconds, and then it would quickly go away as the baby "went for a swim." Then it'd come back again. The beat was strong and fast. I'll never get tired of that sound either :)

The smile on Mike's face was priceless. I'm sure he'd say the same thing about mine.

Needless to say, we're pretty happy....giddy. I'm amazed at how much growing has been going on. In our last ultrasound, about 6 weeks ago, Little B looked like a "little blob." I'm very happy to see Little B looking like a "little baby"....which is what this name stands for and what we saw today.

Mums Day 2008

I'll tell ya, Mothers Day is a little bit different this year...mostly b/c there's this Little B swimming around in my belly. My mom sent me the cutest "Mother-To-Be on Mother's Day" card. It was quite sweet. And I got my first Mothers Day plant....very nice as well. And then close friends and family kept saying "Happy Mothers Day" to me. This is all new to me--- very welcome--but a brand new experience.

Personally, I don't 100% consider myself to truly be a mom until there's a baby....and we're still in production with this one ;) But such comments also made me feel really great. I guess this past Sunday is a perfect example of "Mothers Day in Transition."

I always look at this holiday as a time to sit back and realize (yet again) how incredibly lucky I am in the Mums department. Simply stated, I hit the jackpot with my mom. And the family that surrounds us....Jackpot as well.

So, in honor of the day...I thought I'd share this:
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

The Silver Lining of Morning Sickness

Ooops, I spoke to soon in yesterday's post...Sickies haven't entirely exited stage left (or stage right for that matter). They popped back up last night after din din. Bummer. But as the Dr says--- its a good sign. Truthfully I was hoping that this good sign would gradually go away like it does around this time in many healthy pregnancies. I'm still holding out hope. On the bright side, at least I can't forget that I'm preggers. Some of my friends have talked about the way some syptoms just start to disappear, and how that can make them feel uneasy. I completely understand their logic. At least with every episode of morning (ahem, evening) sickness, I am reminded that somethin's still in there. So that's nice and comforting. See, there is a silver lining of morning sickness...and that's it. How do ya like that for positivity?!?! Can't wait til Monday.

No Whammies, No Whammies :)

Its been 48 hours and no sicky. That's minor cause for a major celebration. In fact, I'm actually noticing that I can go from zero to starving in 60 seconds. Its like Little B flips a switch and I go from not being hungry at all to being ravished.

Even the starving sensation is all good though, b/c I might just be welcoming another health nut into the world. There's still a long list of things that are completely unappetizing to me.... things that are seriously borderline repulsive to me right now. Oddly enough though, they're the things that considered "fun foods." This list includes items like ice cream, mayonaise, and french fries (pretty much anything with grease falls into the fries category). You know the ones I'm talking about...that everyone's like "hey, enjoy these while you're pregnant." Well, oddly enough, I totally don't. And I guess that's good. Maybe baby wants to be healthy. I'm guessing it might have something to do with what my stomache's used to.

p.s. I'm totally counting down the minutes until Monday. In case anyone is curious as of 7a this morning I have only 6,419 minutes to go until our ultrasound appointment. Not that I'm obsessing or anything. :)

In the meantime--- here's a pic from our NYC trip. As you can see, it was a tad bit froggy out, but still tons of fun:

Eureka! 12 Weeks Under the Belt (literally)...and...

Might it be possible that my "so-called morning sickness" has exited stage left? Yesterday was the first day that I didn't toss cookies. And by "cookies" I mean anything that I eat for lunch and or dinner and/or anything that was attempted to be consumed between the hours of noon and midnight. I ate these meals yesterday (during the typical 12 hour danger window) and something strange happened as I consumed them....they felt like they might just stick.

If this is the case, its grounds for celebration--- as there have only been 4 days since I was 5 weeks along that I haven't gotten sick at least once. If this is the case, the thought of actually mailing a thank you card to Little B did cross my mind. Not that I mean to complain, because I'm thrilled to have the Little B coming into our world, but I'm not gonna lie, getting sick daily hasn't been exactly the highlight of my day. With this being said, my doctor keeps reminding me that sickness like this in the first couple of months is a wonderful sign of a healthy baby....so that's good. But if going into trimester #2 could be done without carrying the morning sickness baggage, I'm all aboard!

Here's hoping this new trend continues :) Fingers (and toes and legs and arms and eyes.....all crossed).

Donde es la bump??

In the spirit of Cinco de Mayo, I thought it'd be clever to use a somewhat Spanish title for today's post. That's "Where is the bump" for those of us who didn't do so hot in Spanish class (myself included). Since margaritas and cervesas aren't in my plans for today or the next several months, I thought I'd try to be festive this way. Its my little way of saying "Happy Cinco de Mayo"

Its a funny phenomenon: My regular dress pants are not comfortable anymore...its like I came back from my trip and "no mas" for some of my work clothes. Although, I don't feel like I'm showing either. So odd. If I'm gonna feel bloated, I wanna see a bump. Otherwise it just looks like I spend my evenings with my head emerged in HaaganDaz, followed by a pint of Graeters Rasberry Chip, topped off with a double scoop of Handels homemade Cake Batter Ice Cream. Coincidentall, I'm not consuming any of the above--- it just looks like I am.

The great news is that I have larger sizes of dress pants that I can use before taking the plunge into maternity wear. We'll see. I'm just looking forward to the day when I look like I'm carrying a baby, not 14 pints of ice cream.

Oh, and by the way, I now totallly understand why TomKat purchased an ultrasound system for their home when Katie was preggers. Before now, I didn't get it, but know, I am totally on board. I just want to see the Little B. Waiting 6 (or more) weeks between ultrasounds is just plain tough! Our next appointment is Monday, May 12 and I can't wait. This is the appointment when we're hear the heartbeat and they'll to a rather throrough ultrasound. Hope I get pictures :)

Meet my new friend, "The Rancher"

The ride back from NYC made a little thought pop into my mind: What would I do without my Jolly Ranchers? This thought was quickly followed by the next question: How many cavities am I gonna get during this pregnancy.

Seriously though...Jolly Ranchers currently cure all. If my stomach rumbles (just as a volcano does before it erumpts), the one weapon I seem to have to ward off the dreaded 'reverse food toss' is the faithful rancher. Whether its in car, on a swinging subway, because I didn't recently eat or just because its the evening (all of these are the biggest triggers for my so-called "morning sickness")...Jolly Ranchers seem to buy me time. So, today, I'm thankful for the 'Ranchers. And don't worry, I brush my teeth lots everyday to keep those cavities where they belong (i.e. not in my mouth).

Little B in the Big Apple

Although Little B won't remember, we had quite the weekend in NYC. It was a really fun trip...and I was very impressed on how we held up (and by "we" I mean me [a.k.a. the host organism]and Little B). I'm equally impressd with how great everyone around us was. We didn't overdo it, but we had a lot of fun. Everyone was just great. We ate a yummy places, saw great sights and then everyone was cool with me spending "late night" at the apartment while they did NYC's nightlife justice. And every night, they promised to have a beverage for me. As for me & Little B, the beverage of choice was Ginger Ale.

We went all over Manhattan....literally walked 7 of the 14 mile length of the happening NY island...all the way from 42nd down past Little Italy....passing the cloud-encrusted Empire State Building (it was a bit foggy), thru NYU, past China Town (where we resisted the urge to purchase designer knockoffs). We had some friends with us, one of whom got to see NYC for the first time. It was a whole lotta fun. Over the 3 days, we had a plethora (like my big word of the day?) of cuisines: Italian, Thai, & Mexican....and of course, deli & bagel-fare too...can't go to the big apple without getting a bite of that stuff.

On Saturday, we went to see Yankee Stadium in its final season-- that was cool. I'm proud to say that the new stadium definitely has classical roots, which is encouraging for a newer stadium. Not don't worry about the prospects of our child becoming a Yankees fan....that's not something we're going to encourage in the least. In the NL, they'll be very exposed to the Reds and in the AL, they'll be around family that cheers for the Orioles. Even Danny is a Mets fan. So, no Yankee roots are being planted anywhere...promise. Just wanted to see a stadium with the history that Yankee Stadium has before it goes away.

Mission Accomplished

Seven hours...Yes, that's about the drive from here to NYC, which we did at night on Thurs. I will admit that I was a little concerned about my stomache on the drive. In fact, I may have caused the beginnings of a couple cavities as I kept a constant supply of Jolly Ranchers and Chewy Sweet Tarts in my mouth...but I am proud to say "Mission Accomplished!" We made it all the way to NYC without a stomache episode. I know its not much to sit in a car for 7 hours....but still, this felt like a good accomplishment.

We arrived in at Danny's apartment in Astoria at about 1:30am. Danny met us once we arrived. After we got settled, Mike shared the news with Danny--- who was pretty surprised and very excited. I'm really glad we waited to tell him in person.

Road Trip!

There's one person we still have to tell-- and the only reason he doesn't know yet is b/c we really want to tell him in person. Its M's youngest brother. Since we already had a trip planned to NYC to see him (within a week of when we broke the news to everyone), we thought that it would be cool to share the news in person.

So that's what we're doing this weekend. We're off to NYC....driving with 2 of our friends and hitting the Big Apple. Its about a 7 hour road trip. I have my fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed that I don't get sick being in the car for so long. I'm a tad bit concerned since we're travelling at night and that's when my "morning sickness" (how ironic a name) hits.

Regardless, I'm getting good at being a trooper, so I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm taking a year's supply of Jolly Ranchers-- I may get a cavity, but in mind, it would be a fair tradeoff for not getting sick.

Should be a really fun trip--- we're catching a game at Yankee Stadium (before they tear it down :() and will do some fun sight seeing too. Should be a great trip-- fun time with little bro & our friends. Nothing beats a little extended weekend road trip....except maybe flying (kidding)...it'll be a trip (get it, a trip). Here's to good weather!!!

Giddy

That's the word of the day. I have been blown away by the fun conversations we've been having over the phone and via email with family and close friends. SInce sharing the news, we've gotten the nicest outreaches of excitement and support from you--- and that just makes me flat out giddy.

We knew as we went through this that it wasn't just the two of us on this "trip" to develop our family...there are lots of people rooting us on. M & I have always commented on what great families we both have... I know that this is rare, and will never take it for granted.

In fact, when we told my parents at dinner on Friday, my brother and dad made the nicest toasts on this subject. I'm not going to go into specific details, but what was said was incredibly special and made us feel like real champions. The meaning of their toasts is simple and very worth sharing: We're very fortunate to have the familes we have (and we consider our close friends to be a part of this family). And Family is something you can never take for granted. Its a special gift...one that makes me GIDDY!

So thanks for the kind and excited messages---they really mean a lot :)

Welcome! The "news" is out!

Now that the news is out, this online journal really gets to come to solid light. See, I've been channeling all my thoughts in here as I've been waiting eagerly to share the good (I mean great) news. Because we kept this so hush-hush, I needed an outlet to express all that was going on.

I kept this blog for many reasons...
1) To remember every detail of this process, as we hope it ends up with an amazing finish that makes Cinderalla's fairytale pale in comparison. I'm kidding, but you catch my drift

2) To one day show our child, so they know exactly how they came to be...and could understand that a very nice woman gave us a gift that allowed us to start a family. We're going to be very open about the donor IVF with he/she about all of this. M & I feel its very important not to keep secrets and to be open about this with our child(ren).

3) To keep those close to us continually updated on our progress. I realize that this is not just a journey for M & I, but also a trip for those close to us. Feel free to check back and see what's going on....as I'm finding out, there are many fun quirks about being preggo. Its fun to share them.

4) Then finally, I'm hoping that someone may stumble upon this site who is undergoing fertility challenges. I want to share hope. I was fortunate to go into this process with a lot of hope (along with some other choice emotions- hah!) but mostly with hope. If just one person finds hope from my writing of our experiences, I'll be incredibly grateful. I know what its like to be willing to do just about anything to start a family...and realize that I'm not alone. So, if you come across this and feel it might help someone else who's in a simliar scenario, I encourage you to share this site with them. Its absolutely amazing what medical advances there have been. I am a firm believer that anything is possible as long as you believe.

Now that the news of this pregnancy is out, this site is open to keep everyone who'd like to be kept up date on the happenings of the Foley Family as we work to grow... 2 adults, one baby on the way, and one very special dog.

I've opened up the ability to post comments to any of the postings that you'd like. Its pretty easy to write them, so feel free if you'd like to do so. Welcome aboard :) No need to feel like you have to read this or post on this-- just wanted those close to us to have the option to do so if you please :)

The Academy Award Winning Secret "I'm not pregnant act" is now OVER! Yay!

I am so glad that the secret is now out...as this has been such a hard thing to keep to ourselves. Its really hard to act like everything is normal in everyday life when in reality, there are a lot of changes going on. I feel so different-- mostly in good ways, but having to act like I'm not preggers when I truly am, was getting a little tedious. I will not miss the nights of going out and having to pretend to drink when I wasn't or trying to inconspicously run to the bathroom at work when I was about to get sick. Then there's the 5 second delay I've been trying to stick to when talking to people who don't know...petrified that I was gonna slip and say something I wasn't supposed to. We kept this quiet for good reason, but I'm so over being quiet about it!!! I'm eager to hang up my acting cap for a bit.

We told our parents on Friday -- it was pretty neat. The reactions were priceless. We called close friends and the rest of our family members over the weekend--- and their reactions were also wonderfully sweet. Now work knows too. So, now we can just be ourselves and not have to keep up some silly act. I'm not very good at hiding the truth, so looking back, I'm flat out shocked that we could keep this secret for so many weeks.

Its funny, with all the symptoms I've been having so far in this pregnancy, I find it amazing & amusing that it hasn't really hit me until now that we're gonna actually have a baby. I think its because it didn't seem real until we told all of our family and those close to us....that's what makses all of this totally real.

No More Secrets! Today's the Day!!!

NO MORE SECRETS...
The cat is about to be out of the bag....mums no longer the word.

I am so excited to get this news out, as its driving me crazy keeping in quiet. 10 weeks to have your mouth stapled shut about such great news is a long, long time.

I've been watching every word...afraid that I was gonna slip. But after tonight, the secret will be completely out.

I'm grabbing my megaphone....can't wait!

These are a few of my favorite things...

My how things change when you're a human being that could have a "Baby on Board" sign attached to your forehead. I've discovered some things that I temporarily cannot live without, so I thought I'd share. Whether these items are too help keep my stomach at ease or just to help me feel comfortable, they're on the list

THE FAVES:
- Root Beer
- Canada Dry Root Beer
- Mornings (its when I seriously feel the best)
- Whole Wheat English Muffins
- Vanilla Yogurt with fresh berries
- Carryout (i.e. me not cooking)
- Sleep (lots of it... as in "I turn into a pumpkin at 9pm)
- 70 degree weather with the sun shining...it puts me in my happy place
- The cleaning people who come once a month. That speaks for itself
- Hugs from Mike. (Cheesy, yes, but totally true...I require more of them now)

As for cravings.... I really don't have any yet. But I will tell you that my fondness for Italian foods has definitely increased. Pasta seems to be the best thing I can stomach right now. They say that a baby sometimes gets their favorite "tastes" from what their moms eat when they are pregnant...its that's the case, this child is going to love pasta...just like me.

Anyone Got a Megaphone?

We've got less than a week to keep the secret...and I'm not gonna lie, I'm just about ready to get a magaphone out. In fact...we're within the 5 day countdown of when we'll start to go public with our good news. My parents are coming out from Maryland this weekend and we're having a draft party at our house for the NFL (its actually the 2nd Annual and we'll have 6 teams well represented this year).

We wanted to wait until we were well into our 10th week before we told our families and close friends. The logic being that by this time, we would feel fairly confident that we'd be pretty much out of the dangerous time. We've seen the heartbeat twice now, which looks very healthy. Now its just about finding the right way to break the news. We would really like to find a way to do it in person with both of our families, but also want them to find out at the same time...so some phone calls may be going on this weekend as we break the news.

I can't wait for it to be Friday. This has been one of the hardest secrets we've had to keep. Even though I say that, I'm still very glad that we decided to do it this way. It was a solid decision. Im just glad these 10 weeks have finally gone by. Its seems like its been 10 months, not 10 weeks!

The Olive, The Grapefruit & The Pot-Bellied Pig

I love reading books on this new-found, life-changing, incredibly unchartered territory called "pregnancy." I'm rather fascinated by what I'm discovering. For example, right now Little B is about the size of an olive and my uterus resembles the size of a grapefruit. Very interesting stuff I must say.

Then, many of these books continue on to go into great detail about how you shouldn't be showing yet at 9 weeks. They flat out say that you really won't be showing at ALL in the 1st trimester. Well, to that I say "B.S." Although my "All Day Sickness" (I'm calling it that b/c morning is actually the ONLY time I feel ok) is in full force, I am most definitely sporting a new thing.... a pot belly. Granted, its a little one, but it is oh-so-there. I don't know if I'd classify it as "showing" or not, but its definitely something worth describing. Because its totally here.

So, the olive's hanging out in the grapefruit all of which are causing the emergence of the pot bellied pig (that would be my belly). Just wanted to get that straight :)

Fashion

Can I just say thanks to the fashion designers who set the trends for this spring and summer? You totally must have my back, and I'm seriously appreciative. The flowing, loose fitting tops are all the rage...and I couldn't be more thankful. Not that I'm showing, but I'm definately doing the "thinkening in the midsection thing." Pants that were once quite loose are now way more fitted.

But the loose tops and dresses....how do I thank you designers and fashion moguls out there who make wearing these so in? With my normal luck, I would have expected to have my first trimester (aka "the secret" trimester) while we were immersed in a skin tight, corset-inspired leather, skinny jeans, bare midriff fashion trend. Luckily, the fashion gods were looking out for me. I can totally handle the flowy, rather loose fitting, fun-fabric, long-lengthed fairy top fashion trend that we're in right now.

So we're at 8 weeks (possibly more depending on how I keep measuring, which is a little more advanced). There's a lot going on in Hotel W....Little B is about the size of a kidney bean or a rasberry now. Kinda fun. And webbed fingers and toes are a new addition this week. Kinda cool. And its all happening quietly inside as I try to keep this a secret. With the way my brain is operating, every conversation with a loved one is an experience...as it feels like I almost slip and say something about this in each chat. If only this brain would work a little better.

Keeping This Secret

There are so many near slip ups that occur just about every day. This is such an exciting time, and as this pregnancy becomes more and more a part of our daily life, it becomes an even harder secret to keep.

Then there are the times when I just wanna blurt out "B/c I'm prenant, that's why I'm....(fill in the blank with any and all possible ends to this statement):
"tired"
"can't thnk straight"
"comotose at my desk"
"don't want to go out after work"
"not able to remember half of the things I'm currently doing"
"don't want to be up past 9pm"...and that's on a good day...mostly its past 8p"
"getting sick....no, people its not an eating disorder I picked up...in fact I'd very much like it to end"
"not calling as much "just to chit chat" b/c I'm petrified that I'm gonna slip up and blurt out something preggers-related"
"burping incognito all day long"

Its just plain hard to keep this a secret. Someone passed by my office door and asked if I was okay. Internally, I freaked for a moment. Yikes! I'm not acting like myself and that needs to stop until we can let this cat (or in my case, "cheetah") out of the bag. Its a major deal--- and we're so excited...I'm exhausted, but more than that, very very very very excited. But the time isn't right yet to share. Something could still go wrong....so we wait for a couple more weeks.

I just can't wait for this no longer to be a secret....especially from those closest to us who may be thinking something's "just not right," but just can't put their finger on it. In due time, I'll help you put your finger on my preggers belly and everything will make a whole lot more sense. Just a couple more weeks :)

Our 1st OB Appt

My how different an experience it is to actually go into an OB/Gyns office with a happy face on! I've always gone for either the ever-dreaded "annual pap" or the even more dreaded "something is not right with my gilry organs." And, I've never gone to an appointment with my husband right there too.

We had the chance to meet our new OB and I really like him. Thankfully, he comes highly recommended, which is how we found our way to his practice in the first place. He went through our records and took time to get to know us. I knew I would like him (as his patients rave about him) and it was so nice to see exactly why first hand. His office is about 40 minutes from Strongsville, but only about 20 minutes from both of our offices, so that's good. Even though we've been through some very delicate procedures to get here, he 's classifying me as a "low risk pregnancy," which is great news. I'll deliver at Hillcrest Hospital, which is also about 40 minutes away from home. So, fingers crossed that wehn the time comes, baby will give us adequate notice.

I was also really happy to learn that he is present at 95% of his patient's births...which is quite reassuring. He said that circumstances that would cause another doctor from their practice to step in are very rare. That is such a relief-- especially now-a-days when it seems like most practice flat out rotate delivery duties. That may be fine for some, but not me...not if at all possible. I want the Dr checking me along the way to be the one that welcomes me into motherhood. Call me a whimp, but I have to have the trust factor with the doctor who's gonna deliver life out of me.

Something that I totally didn't expect was that they'd do another ultrasound. Mike got to see the heart beating for the first time...it was so cool to watch him watch the screen. I saw such a fond, subtle reflection of pure joy. That's the only way I can describe it. I'm measuring exactly 7 weeks 5 days, which is precisely where I should be based upon the transfer date. So, Nov 19th has officially been listed as my due date.

Our next appt is May 12th...and we'll get an ultasound then too.

Sleeping Not-So Beauty

I'm totally amazed by the way Little B is changing me. I'm sure anyone who's already a mom could read this statement, laugh a little, and say in your head "Just you wait, Kris, you have NO idea." And they'd be correct, I don't have any idea...but I'll adapt when that comes as best I can.

But for now, I'm talking specifically about the physical changes that are happening to me. I'm sleepy ALL the time. Particularly from 2 in the afternoon until I go to sleep, which is now at about 8:30 or 9pm. This is the girl who pratically used to brag about how I could totally function on 6 1/2 or 7 hour of sleep per night. Not so much anymore. Now I need no less than 9 hours. Go figure.

So that would make me Sleeping Beauty...except for the tiny fact that I don't at all feel like I'm encompassing the "beauty" part. I'm quite a bit bloated and gassy. I don't at all look preggers-- not saying that I'm showing or anything-- I just don't look cute in any of my clothes at the moment. And all of this is still a secret, so I can just imagine the thoughts going through people's heads..."Geez Kris, lay off the junk food." When in fact I am (very unintentionally) laying off a lot of food becuase Little B likes me to see a lot of food twice if you catch my drift. Not nice...but as the books say, a sign of a very healthy pregnancy.

All if this is a transition. I just can't wait for the time when I actually have a belly that looks like there's something other than a double whopper with triple cheese (which I would never eat) in it. But this will happen in due time. I just want wait to let the secret out of the bag and stop pretending like there's nothing going on inside me...when there totally is ;)

Its Amazing What Medicine Can Do...

We also found out that our shot days will soon be coming to an end. Yep, that's right. Thanks to a quickly-growing placenta (thank G-D), I'll only need to be on meds and shots until 4/9. Wow. That will be my 8 wk mark, which is the earliest they would take a patient off meds. Given my history, I really thought that I'd be on much longer, as did my doctor, but the body's kicking in to action. I think my organs forgot that those ovaries have been gone for quite some time.

I find all of this truly fascinating...and quite inspiring when you think about it. Here I am, a lady sans ovaries, which are kinda a big deal for women. They control many female hormones as well as the reproduction process. Thanks to medical advancement, we've successfully-sythetically convinced the organs that would be interacting with my ovaries to create a pregnancy, that nothing is out of the ordinary. My uterus is acting just as if this egg came from my ovary and isn't rejecting it. Instead, its making the Little B feel quite comfy and welcome (my plush, couch-like lining prooves this little fact). Together, they're producing the hCG hormone, which is alerting the rest of my body that there's a Little B on Board. When I say alerting, I think they are practically screaming it throughout my body, as the symptoms I'm feeling are intense. I feel preggers in many parts of my body--especially in my chest, my upset stomache, and my brain that just can't concentrate. Then there's the incredibly sleepy factor. My body has even communicated that message loud and clear.

Little B's Got a Beat!!!

Very very very very very very very exciting day. We had our ultrasound and saw exactly what we wanted to see.... a little fluttering heartbeat going very fast on the screen. Instantaneously, it went from being a blob-o-cells to a baby-to-be...just by seeing the heartbeat for the very first time. I thought ahead of time that I would totally cry when I saw the heart moving on the screen, but I didn't. Instead, I giggled like a 5-year-old. Go figure.

On the way home, I was magneticly pulled towards the Carter's Outlet that is along the highway. I stopped and got some really cute stuffed animals...a duck (shocking), a dog (again, shocking), and a giraffe (surprise). Anyway, they are super cute and will be fun furry friends for this little bundle of baby once they arrive. In the meantime, they can amuse me, which they do quite well. I look at them and just smile.

We realize that there are still many more steps to come, but even my Dr said that this is the biggest obstacle we'll need to hurdle, and we did it. In other exciting news, there is no sign of the other Little B roaming around where they shouldn't be (i.e. no ectopic pregnancy), which is also great. They did a very thorough ultrasound and are confident that there's only one, which I am super happy about...twins would have been great in their own way, but I am so happy that we'll get to have a singleton for our first pregnancy. We've got lots to learn!

We're on track to have a little baby around Thanksgiving. Isn't that just so appropriate?!?! Talk about something to be thankful about!

Looking Forward to a Monday?

Yes, from the title of this post, you'd think I was borderline insane....actually sitting on a couch watching the weekend slowly come to a close and being excited about it.

I can explain....Its because tomorrow at 9:45, I have my 7 wk ultrasound with my clinic. If all goes well & we see a heartbeat with everything being tucked neatly in place, this will be our last appointment with "Team Stork" in Cincy for this cycle. If this indeed happens, it will be a very happy moment on what will be a very long journey. They'll be in touch with my OB/GYN and will transition me to their care. That would be a wonderful thing-- as much as I really like the staff at Team Stork, this would mean that I'm on my way towards a healthy pregnancy.

No matter what happens, we'll be staying in touch with our clinic, as our plans include another IVF cycle regardless of the result of this one. Its very important to us that our child will have a sibling, so we are optimistic that they'll be playing a big role in our family's future.

Seeing a heartbeat at 6w6d is still rather early, but here's hoping it appears on the ultrasound screen manana.

Morning Sickness needs to be renamed

Because its just not an accurate name. In fact, I don't get the so-called morning sickness in the morning. Thanks to my furry, middle-o-the-night alarm clock, I always get a snack b/t 2:30-4am while the pup goes out to "get busy" (aka go to the bathroom). So, even though I tend to feel a bit queasy, a quick shower is the ideal solution. Then I wrap up my wet hair in a towel and back to sleep I go. It may sound like quite a nighttime ordeal, but hey, it works. And right now, anything that works to help me avoid the tossing of cookies is something I'm going to make part of my daily routine.

So in the mornings, when I wake up, I'm usually pretty okay. Burpy, but okay. Then, my morning staple is a toasted bagel with some steamed turkey. This is the perfect meal to help calm my belly. So the mornings...they're all good.

Its the rest of the day...the after noon and evenings that throw me (and the contents of my stomach) for a major loop. That's when this "morning sickness" has its vice-grips around me. I am finding some foods that are still my friends: pasta, perogies, macaroni, potatos, turkey sandwiches, chicken noodle soup & a very lean hamburger. This may be the eating rotation for awhile. We'll see.

I will say this though, its all this sickness is all good. Feeling this way is strangely comforting as its a good sign. And I want as many good signs as I can get.

6w0d...Really? 6 weeks?

Wow-- its kinda unbelievable that we're technically 6 weeks along today. In some ways, its flown by. In other ways, its been the slowest moving calendar ever....especially in between the benchmark tests. Case in point-- the wait until next Monday when we have our ultrasound in Cincinnati. How can 6 days feel 18 years away from now?

I can't help but be very cautious, as we have another 4-5 weeks until the time when we can actually hear a heartbeat and feel a bit out of the woods. Right now, everything is so fragile. Although I hope this isn't the case, the reality is that we're smack dab in the middle of the "danger zone"...when things can go wrong or progress stops developing. These are the exact reasons why we have kept our IVF such a secret. We want to have solid good news to share...and we're halfway there.

This is why the first couple months require a great deal of patience. Its taking baby steps....and such a play on words is totally fitting. But at least today, we're about half way through the really scary part, so that's good. Here's hoping for more positive news to keep coming.

Update on "Pricks For A Good Cause"

One thing I've been purposely omitting from this journal are the daily shots...the "pricks for a good cause." I'm still not a big fan of them...they actually hurt more now that the glutimas maximus is building up a little scar tissue. We have our ritual down pat, though...and we're getting really good at coping with these progesterone shots.

The main difference now is that we now know that this not-so-little nightly injection is preserving our pregnancy. Single-handedly keeping all that's in Hotel W free from an internal "eathquake" that would end it all. So, I felt it important to give a little shout out to the daily prick...as its responsible for what we saw yesterday on the ultrasound.

I know that I'll be on these shots for awhile, as my body no longer has the ovaries that make natural progesterone. As we progress, the placenta should kick in (once its more developed) and start producing progesterone, which rises dramatically in all pregnancies. The ovaries actually aren't in charge of producing progesterone when a woman is pregnant. This process gets handed off to the placenta, who graciously makes the hormone at the rapid pace a healthy pregnancy requires. That's something I didn't know until we entered the IVF process. Its pretty cool how the female body works.


Although the progesterone shots in oil do hurt a lot, and sometimes bring on tears, its important to remember that these tears meet a big smile that always appears on my face after we do the shot. Why? Because each day we're one day further towards our hope to become a bigger family. And yes, we still say "One Step Closer to Baby" when we hug after the shot each night. No eye rolling here b/c the above sounds cheesy. Its our little way of coping--and I'm proud of how we're coping with these needles--that aren't fun to give or get. :)

Inside Hotel W...Part 2

We had our ultrasound today at a clinic in Cleveland (not with our regular office)--- and although its very early on, we were able to see a yolk sac and an embryonic sac...meaning that there's one in there. Pretty neat. Its nice to know that one of the Little Bs took and is in the right place. Now, we just need it to grow, grow, grow.

Although today, I am technically 5wk3days, I'm measuring 5w6d. So that's good...it means this little embryo is healthy. Now we'll wait until 3/31 for our next ultrasound.

Part of me can't help but wonder what happened to the other Little B...but nature has its way of making decisions for us. I have this tiny fear that its roaming somewhere in my abdomen where it should be, although I've been assure that such a reality is unlikely. The plan is to see a little tiny makings of a heart flutter on the next ultrasound, as I'll hopefully be one day short of 7 weeks. Again, seeing all this stuff is very early, as most pregnant women don't even have their first doctors appt until 10-12 wks along--- and that's when they have their first opportunity to view Hotel W.

Before today, there were a lot of thoughts running through my head. Most of them revolved around the pros & cons of finding out we had one or finding out we had two staying at Hotel W. There are indeed advantages and disadvantages to both--- and in many ways they do somewhat equal out. From the very beginning, all we've said is that we want a healthy baby-- and thats exactly what we have in the works so far.

Pretty amazing day on the baby front. I wish I had an ultrasound photo to put up here, but one wasn't given to me (again, its very early on). I'm sure we'll have one of the next snapshot of Hotel W, when we're back in the office of Team Stork in Cincy.

Is it Friday yet???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Tick, tick-tick...tick-tick, tick tick!!! Is it 7am tomorrow yet? That's when we get to see the resident (or possible residents) of Hotel W. We'll get to check on his/her/their status. Make sure she/he/they are snuggled where they're supposed to be and that she/he/they are growing like they should.

I'm so incredibly curious, I can't even think straight---hence why we're going in at 7am...it was their earliest appointment. Wow....tomorrow we should learn a lot. As for what I hope to see inside Hotel W on the ultrasound? I just want whatever is in there to be healthy and growing...and be in the right place. That's all I want.

There are pros to it being a single child...just as there are pros to there being two guests at Hotel W. The jury is out. But the only verdict we really care about is that he/she/they are doing well. That's really all I care about. The rest is out of or hands. We'll happily embrace whatever comes our way.

Details tomorrow....To Be Continued then! OH BABY! I can't wait!

My Furry, Cuddly, Living, Four-Legged Alarm Clock

Last summer, Boomer somehow got bit by a deer tick and had to be put on preventative meds for Lymes Disease. One of the side effects of the meds are that they made him have to pee often....including once or twice in the middle of the night. He's totally fine now, but has not been able to kick the habit. He still wakes up between 3:30-4:15 and nudges me with his paw to let him out.

I actually don't mind it. I usually don't have a problem going back to sleep quickly. Now, these middle-of-the-night trips are becoming more valuable for me. First off, the obvious...I'm seeing how this could be good "conditioning" for when we do become parents (not getting too far ahead of myself...hoping that this happens in 248 days or so, but if not I know that at some point in our lives, we'll be parents). These 3:30a wake-ups are good practice. Although, I know that there will most likely be 3 or more OTHER wake-ups during the night, this isn't a bad start.

The other reason (and the one I'm particularly thankful for right now) is the ability to help me get something in my belly (i.e. wheat thins or pretzels) to make sure I don't wake up charging to the bathroom toilet. I do feel pretty sick to my stomache when Boomer gets me out of bed at 4am, but I'm finding it helpful, so thank you. Boom! I've also found that taking showers during after I let him out and then jumping back in bed also helps me feel better...big time.

Its Not Easy Being Green

If I considered myself to be green yesterday...then, today, I'm greener. Not much to write today...mostly b/c I'm wiped out and feeling yuckier than yesterday. I talked to my Dr b/c I developed a little fever--- they want me to call whenever its over 100, and when I took it at noon, it was 100.5

They did some tests---just precautionary--- and everything looks to be completely fine. I just happened to get dehydrated from not being able to keep things down over the past few days. They got me some meds and gave me suggestions on what to eat...and how little to eat of these items. Their logic is that eating a little and keeping it down is way better than eating normally and not having it stay in my stomache. I tend to agree. I'm supposed to "carb it up." Then, as that works, I'm supposed to work towards protein. And lots of fluid. Lots and lots of fluids. And lie down--- so home early from work I went. I was wiped out, so I didn't even push back. Whats inside is way more important than whats at work right now....so feeling better takes big-time priority.

I'm happy to say that by bedtime, my fever was back down. This means it was indeed dehydatration and not some bug or virus. That's good. Problem solved. Hoping that tomorrow is less green.

Green is the Word of the Day

Um, I feel sort of like there's a revolt going inside me...like my body is ganging up on me. Food is no longer my friend. Let me clarify, there are some foods that are still my BFFS, but it seems like they are dwindling by the day. For other foods, its been a complete and utter mutiny. And I'm just approaching 5 wks. This throwing up thing isn't even supposed to be kicking in yet, is it? That's somewhat of a rhetorical question b/c the answer doesn't really matter...the reality does...and the reality is that I've been getting sick.

The past 24 hours have been markedly different than other days. As in more intense (and I thought I had a pretty good, solid stomache....wrong!). I ended up taking a shower this morning at 3:45a b/c I felt so yucky. But the reality is that everytime I get sick, I smile. (I know, totally grossly cheesy and annoying). Its true...b/c this must mean that something good is going on inside. We'll know Friday what exactly that is--- our ultrasound is scheduled for 7am. I asked for their 1st available appt....they said 7 and I said "Yay!"

So, in honor of St Patty's Day, I'm green. Not the kinda green that I've been in the past, but green all the same. And I'm okay with this. Just hoping that someone who doesn't know our secret doesn't accidentally find out when I have to do a mad dash to the restroom in a public place. I'm just gonna try not to let that happen. :)

Keeping Secrets in Social Situations

For very obvious reasons, we're keeping Operation Stork a secret. This is somthing that most expecting parents do during the first trimester, although some couples do decide to share the good news earlier. We are waiting until we hear a heartbeat-- after week 10 (fingers crossed) to tell everyone. Its a very hard secret to keep, but we're determined to do it.

Its especially amusing when you're in big social situations that involve alchohol. Case in point, our evening plans this weekend. We went out to dinner with another couple on Friday and on Sat, we celebrated one of our very close friend's 30th birthday...complete with limo bus. Both evenings were a ton of fun...as we danced our way through keeping our secret while "going out" with friends.

We planned in advance on how we'd handle the whole drinking thing and developed our strategy. We didn't want to use the whole "I'm not feeling well" line because we didn't want to be a downer. So, we found our plan: Fruit Juice Cocktails of the Non-Alcoholic Variety. Pre-preggers, my drinks of choice were wine and mixed drinks, so this wasn't too hard to pull off. There's actually a lot you can do to make a virgin drink look like the real deal.

I've created a couple fun ones..with my favorite one being Cranberry, Grapefruit Juice & Tonic, with a lime for authenticity. Good for you AND totally deceiving to those around you who think you're drinkin' it up like the rest of them. The hardest part was making sure that M & I could sneak away to the bar solo...and not let others try to buy me a drink. We were successful. It kinda became like a little game...and act. It was fun---and all for a really good cause.

Seriously, this little fruit mix is so good. And I don't miss drinking at all--- I actually love how healthy I feel.

2 for 2 on Tests

Ahh..I can breathe a little sigh of temporary relief as my 2nd blood test FINALLY got completed by the lab and sent off to Team Stork in Cincinnati. And the results were very good. I'll start by saying that right off the bat in stark contrast to the waiting I had to do to get my results. No need to leave this journal in day-long suspense like the silly lab did to me.

I went in at 7:15a to have my blood taken. My clinic noted that they wanted the results STAT, so I thought the lab up here would get right on them. I started to get a bit concerned when it was 2:30 and I still hadn't heard anything. So, I did what any courious, partially rational person waiting for test results would do: I called the lab and asked them what was going on and asked why my doctor hadn't received results yet. Turns out they were slammed, but did fax the results to my clinic who called me within 5 minutes.

I'm not much of an expert, but apparently, in early healthy pregnancies, doctors want to see your hCG count double every 48 to 72 hours. The test your blood 2 days apart to see what your doubling time is. This is very important for IVF patients b/c sometimes the embryo doesn't latch on in they way you'd hope it would-- so you wouldn't see fast-paced doubling. This can happen in any pregnancy, but from what I've read, is more prevalent in IVF pregnanceis.

My 1st hCG level on Tuesday was 150, and that was a strong #. Team Stork wanted to see my hCG count on this 2nd test at 300-320 or higher. Mine cam back at 544! Holy Crap! Its really good news, as a quickly rising hCG level is a sign of a very healthy pregnancy. The test showed that my hCG level appears to be doubling every 26 hours (as opposed to every 48-72 hours). Some people think that a fast-rising hCG level could indicate that there's more than one Little B in there making the levels so high, but doctors don't neccessarily agree with this logic...as every pregnancy is different and the "normal range" for hCG levels in pregnant woman is very wide.

We're just happy to pass this milestone.

And just like that...

We're happy. The thought of actually being preggers is beginning to sink in. For so long, I've been watching my words as I tried not to get too far ahead. Seems like every statement I've been making regarding Operation Stork either starts with or ends with "if all things work out the way we want" or "if it turns out that this does work" or "if we're lucky." I can't blame ourselves for being extremenly cautious, and even with this news, we will continue to be, as we have many more steps to go before we meet our baby. But know that it feels really good to know that to date, things have gone the way we'd hope them to....including the positive Beta Test we received yesterday.

Its very fun to get used to the concept of our Little B (or possibly Little Bs) hanging out at Hotel W for an extended stay. Even so, we are going to continue to be guarded in this 1st trimester. Heck, we're keeping this such a secret b/c we want to be very confident when we do share this news, that we have reasonable certainty that a baby is indeed on the way. So, we're waiting until we're 10-11 weeks along to share this secret with the world. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to pick up the phone and conference call everyone I knew yesterday. But we thought it through and the plan we have in place is the right one for us. We want the smiles that we see on the faces of our loved ones to last throughout the rest of the pregnancy, and not to turn to disappointment later if at all possible. All the info we've collected suggest that the most dangerous time is during the first 10 weeks. So lets just get through those before we break the news. I'll be very ready for a megaphone by then!

That's really why I've chosen to write down all of my thoughts here. This way, when we do spread the word 6-7 weeks from now, we'll be able to let them check out what's been going on each day by looking at this site. I'm hoping this will help fill in the blanks, and be a nice, high-tech momento of the journey.

Its crazy. Yesterday, I was keeping my fingers crossed to have a good blood test that would confirm our pregnancy. And just like that, today, I'm 4 weeks pregnant. Wow. Words don't describe how happy we are. We're cautious, but we're equally thrilled and look towards passing the next steps that come our way.

And...

Sometimes a picture is worth a whole lotta words. We're preggo. My Beta Blood test results came back...and came back strong. My hCG levels were a 150-160 count, which is great. They were hoping for a 40 level, so not bad for 8dp6dt (that's "8 days past 6-day embryo transfer). Now we want it to double by the next blood test on Thursday.

But for now, its YAY-TIME! We're both very happy-- we're cautious b/c there is still much more our Little B (Bs?) need to do--but we're very thrilled to get back results like this.

SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT hCG & IVF (i.e. stuff I never knew before we started this whole quest)
Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is a hormone produced during pregnancy by the placenta. It starts to be produced shortly after an embryo implants, and is expected to double approximately every 48 to 72 hours in early pregnancy. The absolute level of hCG in a pregnant woman's blood is less critical than the rate of rise. A failure to double properly reflects slow placental growth, which is very frequently associated with abnormal embryonic development.
While hCG levels are expected to double in early pregnancy, the rate of rise generally slows as the level increases.
It's not possible to determine whether you're having twins or a singleton by hCG levels alone. The range of normal values for twin gestations fall squarely within the range of normal values for singletons. It has not been proven that multiple gestations have faster doubling rates than singleton pregnancies.
No matter how many stories with a positive outcome you've heard about slow-rising hCG levels — "15% of normal pregnancies have an abnormal rise!" — and no matter how many times you've heard that once you see a heartbeat you're practically in the clear — "The miscarriage rate drops to 3%!" — hCG levels that don't rise properly are a troubling sign even in pregnancies where a heartbeat is established.
IVF pregnancies generally have lower hCG levels than other pregnancies. The theory is that non-IVF pregnancies implant sooner, thereby having more time to generate hCG than a transferred embryo would. (Special thanks to "Turns Out You can be a Little Pregnant" for collecting this info)

Feeling like the The 7 Dwarfs (and then some)

So, tomorrow morning's my blood test. And then I plan on spending the rest of the day waiting for the phone to ring. Kidding. I'm keeping myself very busy at work. But I'm not gonna lie...I will be hovering over my phone making sure the ringer is turned on, that I didn't miss a call, that the Sprint network isn't malfunctioning, etc. You get the point.

A rather random thought popped in my mind regarding the endless "Am I?" mindgame I've been playing for the past 8 days: If Snow Whites Seven Darwfs were a pregnancy test, I'd have a positive result...and there might be a few new dwarfs in my world as well...

Here's how...
SLEEPY: Yep. If you're a show I used to watch at 10p, you're now in TiVo-land, so I can watch you tomorrow before 8:30
DOPEY: Forgetful? Um, yeah. All in all, I just feel a bit off
HAPPY: The thought of what could be happening in my belly makes me giddy
SNEEZY: I've surely got the sniffles, but don't feel like I have a cold.
GRUMPY: I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm grumpy, but less patient, absolutely (especially when waiting for blood test results...tick-tick-tick-tick)
BASHFUL: Well, not quite sure on this one, but I'd like to be bashful from an eventual baby-belly some day in the next 9 months)
DOC: Hoping to hear from one tomorrow! Only good news, please.

Other possible dwarfs that I feel like I'd resemble right now: Queezey, Dreamy, Achey! Ha, but it this means that we're doing good, I'm thrilled!

If I was writing a fortune for a fortune cookie I was about to break open...

The good news to report today is that my beta test (the blood test) is only 3 days away now. And so help me if the hospital lab we are using doesn't call my clinic the moment my results are completed. Knowing how excited (and fierely focused) couples are about the date of their first pregnancy blood test, they write "STAT" on the prescriptions they write for out-of-town patients who have their blood test done in places besides their clinic. So nice of them. Again, I plan on hovering over the lab tech to make sure they get it done and get it done quick. Kidding, I'm not that psycho! But eager to know? YES!

In recent developments, I'm not proud to announce that my mind has gotten the best of me. I admit it. I may be imagining a whole bunch of stuff, but I have officially convinced myself that I am preggo. Yes, you've heard of the power of positive thinking, right? Well, I'm really positive right now. Call it a hunch, but I'm not kidding, I'm pretty darn confident that SOMETHING is going on in here. I know its a completely bold statement, but the whole point of keeping this journal is to share my very honest thoughts. And this is the one that is monopolizing my braing right now. Of course, I'm no doctor, but still, for some strange reason I'm sure. Lets hope my hunch is right.

This prediction is probubly as accurate as a fortune cookie, but regardless, I like the thoughts of it.

Sleep-E

Yes, if there's one thing that I've definitatley noticed, its that I am wiped out sleepy. I usually go to bed around 11 during the week. The past 2 days, I've been tucking myself in at 9p and meeting the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzs closely thereafter. So, you'd think that that would make me wake up super revitalized. Um, no. This morning I woke up, took a shower, dried my hair and plopped right back in bed. That's how "revitalized" I was. Boomer thought it was a cruel joke b/c just as he started to snuggle up thinking "yay, it's a weekend," I got up b/c I had to get ready to go to work.

I'm a little sore and a lotta sleepy. My sniffer is also showing a heightened ability to smell odors (both pleasent & unpleasant). Still all of these things could be by-products of the high dosage of progesterone I have the pleasure of getting daily.

That's really all I've noticed this week. I won't attribute it to anything b/c these things could be caused by so many factors, so speculation will just make my mind wander. I'm gonna just stay hopeful and sleepy. That's my story and I'm stickin to it!

Rinse & Repeat

We wait. I analyze. I assess any possible symptoms (even though I know in my head it may be way too soon to be experiencing them). We wait. I go online to read everything I possibly can about what to expect during this 8-day wait. Then we wait some more. We go to work. I think about what might possibly we going on inside. We wait. I try my best to concentrate on stuff at work, and then come to the realization that my brain is not really good at focusing right now, which is sooooo not like me by the way. We wait. We do a shot at night. Right after the show, we hug. Then we say "One step closer to baby" as I smile while the pain goes away and the medicine gets absorbed. We wait.

This is followed by more waiting. Periodically , I look at my belly and have this silent conversation with it: "Hey, what's going on in there? You Guys Comfy? You still in there? Better be. Have you found a place to cuddle up and chill. Are you growing? How's 'Hotel W' (that the posh place medically referred to as the womb, or so we hope. It sounds way better when you call it Hotel W, doesn't it?). We hope. We wait. I drink tons of water to feel hydrated. We wait. We go to bed. I lie awake thinking about what might be. I finally fall asleep. Then I wake up. Rinse and Repeat...Welcome to Day 4 after the transfer.

I just wanna know how the 1,440 minutes that exist in a day can possible take this long to pass. They surely didn't used to take this long. Its just a mere 86,400 seconds that create each 24 hour day. Days usually fly by, especially when I'm busy-- and I'm busy. But right now I feel like these 8 days are taking 8 years. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration--I'm just trying to make a point...it needs to be next Tuesday, like, right now.

Will someone please press the fast forward button?

So, now I'm Curious George

Things are going well. I've succesfully made the transition from Hen sitting on an egg waiting for it to hatch, to the lovable, storybook character, Curious George...

Why am I not able to concentrate on anything other than the Little Bs?

Why am I so sleepy? I yawned 6 times on the way home from work and I got 9 hours of sleep yesterday.

Why isn't there a way to test sooner?

Why is the sky blue? Does that mean I might be prego?

Why do I just feel a bit "off" right now?

Why am I totally obsessing about all that may or may not be going on in my belly?

And my favorite question to ponder...Why the heck isn't it next Tuesday yet?

"Good things come to those who wait, right?" I'm waiting. Bring on the good things :)

The "Might I Be?" Club

I spoke with Ann this morning, who is so wonderful. If this tale turns into a beautiful story, she would be playing the role of Fairy God Mother, as she's been so incredibly helpful both in coordinating everything with our donor and keeping my nerves in check. Both of which are no easy task.

She wanted to know how I was feeling-- and I'm feeling good. Of course its impossible not to hyper-analyze everthing. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING: I'm not that hungry, which is totally not normal. My temperature last night is 99.2, slightly higher than where it normally registers. But these could both easily be blamed on nerves and the progesterone shots I take everynight. I'm a bit sleepy, which could be blamed on the fact that I'm absorbing a lot of meds and for the past two nights I've woken up like clockwork at 3am, going back to sleep about an hour later. Then I spend most my day trying to mask everything that I'm feeling--- and not telling people equally exhausting. I'm watching my words every moment of the day.

Oh heck, I'm just going to admit that I'm succombing to the "Might I Be" Syndrome. And I don't feel bad about it at all. I think its completely understandable.

Bottom line, I am beginning to understand what a hen feels like when she's sitting on an egg: "When am I gonna see if there's a chick?!?!?"

Moving Day for the Little Bs

We did it. Its somewhat hard to put the words into today's experience. Its especially hard to describe when you consider what we may have created today.


I definitely felt a good vibe, almost a buzz rumbling through the clinic from the moment we arrived (we were about 45 minutes early). This has never been the type of clinic where you are treated like a number and the process you with no personalization through this VERY personal medical prodecure. That's why we chose them. They have amazing success rates coupled with an incredible bedside manner, which is really rare. Today, I felt the connectedness of the entire staff even more.


When I asked Ann how the Little Bs were looking this morning, she said "You two and your embryos have created a lot of excitement around here this week. Your Embryologist was practically giddy this morning because your blastocycsts looked so healthy." Those statements make you feel really good about the prospects of a possible pregnancy, but also about the team we choose to help us get to this point.


Shortly after 9:30a, we entered the sterile IVF transfer room and we're greeted by Dr Hoffman and our Embryologist. They gave us the keys to Incubator #263B and confirmed that these were our Little Bs. They gave us a photo of them, which was really cool. Got all the equipment organized and ready. The best 2 Little Bs were transferred using ultrasound guidance. I had to lay still for about 30 minutes on a downward slope to help the Little Bs stay where they're supposed to.


Now we take super amazing care of me and wait...In the meantime, here are photos of the 2 Little Bs that were transferred today. One already hatched and the other is in the process of hatching. Both are Grade 1.0

Green Light for Day 6

At 9:45a today we talked with the embryologist, who had more good news to report...He said, in his very kind, foreign voice, that 9 of our 12 have "passed every test to show that they are ready, willing, and able to develop into a being." That's a great thing to hear come over the phone lines from an experienced embryologist.

Here is our Day 5 Update on the "Little E"s (which, by the way, I should now call "Little Bs" b/c they have not advanced from initial Embryos to advanced Blastocyst):

• 5 are now Grade "1.0" (which is like an "A" or an "A+"...its the best grade they can get).
• 4 are now Grade "1.5" (which is like an "A-" or "B+"...still very good)
• 2 are Grade "2.0" (which is the cut off for transfer at this clinic)
• 1 is a Grade 3.0 (and will not be frozen should it not improve to a Grade 2.0 or better)

What's even more amazing is that all 12 of the embryos that we cultured have split into 200 or more cells. Keep in mind that on Day 3, they were only 6-12 cells. They've been busy.

They are on schedule to hatch sometime later tomorrow-- meaning that its a most perfect time for my IVF Transfer of the 2 best "Little Bs"

From "Little Es" to "Little Bs" at "Hotel Lab"

Between Day 3 & Day 5 of their time at the luxorious, all-inclusive, highly posh Hotel Lab these Embryos (Affectionately called "Little Es") are supposed to be pretty busy. They've jumped the first hurdle by actually taking the plunge to get fertilized. That's kinda key. Then, they decided to be agreeable to their surroundings and adapted well to life in the Hotel Lab. Some "Little Es" don't like to stay at Hotel Lab demand to be upgraded into a rather delux extended-stay called Hotel Womb....at least we hope its an extended-stay for about nine months or so. We've passed 2 hurdles so far.

Once they have settled in, they need to get very busy....meaning that they need to start dividing into many little cells. From Day 3 to Day 5, they need to split into 200+ cells. Once the "Little Es" cross the 200 cell marker, they are officially called "Little B"s...because they are blastocysts. This is a really big hurdle...and if they can't jump it, they won't be able to pass the finish line. Its one that until the last couple of years, was only attempted in Hotel Womb, not in Hotel Lab.

Medicine made great strides and they can now do this outside of the body in special labs, which is amazing. Why? Well, it kind of goes along with the age-old "Survival of the Fittest" mentality. Although Hotel Womb is great, it has no windows to watch what happens during the pivotal 6-9 days after fertilization occurs. Hotel Lab has lots of windows and frequent check-ins to monitor development. An embryo can look extremely healthy on Day 2 & 3, but then not divide at the rapid rate deemed essential to develop into a fetus. Sadly, that embryo doesn't make it. By seeing how the cells split, they can make smart decisions about which ones are showing to be the healthiest. This helps them to more accurately predict which "Little Bs" have the best chance of developing into a living being.

Now that all that's explained, we're sending positive vibes to our "Little Es" who are chillin at Hotel Lab. Now that they're settled, I hope they order lots of room service and that their cells multiply like rabbits.