10 things...

There are 10 things going through my mind and I thought I'd share them. Some may be silly. Some may be interpreted as total cheese. Some may be way overboard on the sentimental meter (cut me some slack, I'm allowed to be emotional). But they are all running through my mind....lots.

1) I can't help looking at these ultrasound pics over and over (and then over and over). I just can't get enough of them. Seriously, I'm addicted. The cheesey part-- every time I look, I smile.

2) Speaking of ultrasounds...I did find myself "just checking" to see what one of those ultrasound machines would cost, as its the day after Little B's most recent photo sessions and I already want another one. There's one on ebay right now for $9K. Oh well, that's a little steep. Can we just rent one? Maybe I'll call TomKat to see if I can borrow theirs!

3) I'm still finding that I'm a bit of a space cadet. I'm usually really able to stay focused and highly functioning on all cylindars at all times. I'm finding that I'm not as good at that now.

4) I really want it to be November-- I want to meet this Little B. And I'm telling myself (and my doctor) that Little B will be able to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade this year. No, I don't expect Little B to actually be watching, but it would be nice if he/she made his/her grand entrance prior to Turkey Day.

5) Not finding out if Little B was a girl or a boy during yesterday's ultrasound took more willpower than I thought it would. I thought I was curious before? Well, not that the opportunity to find out has passed, I REALLY want to know. I do think it will be cool to have this be a surprise come November, which is great. I would just like to press a fast forward button. Also, I keep analyzing the ultrasound from yesterday....could that have been a boy part? Might this be a girl thingy?

6) I'm really glad that Mike went with me yesterday. He's been going on almost all of the appointments I've had, which is great. And his presence there yesterday was great. It helped me not to cave and made the experience very cool. I have the luxury of feeling this little being move around, making Little B seem "really real" to me. Mike hasn't been able to feel these movements yet, so him having a chance to see the baby move and look so human was great.

7) Speaking of Mike, this whole experience is bringing us even closer together-- and we are already really close. Not to be overly sappy, but this has been a uniting journey. Our path might not be the traditional one, but the feelings we share for eachother and the feelings we have about Little B are pretty amazing. In thinking about this-- there really isn't one traditional path to creating a family. Every couple faces their own set of challenges...the amazing thing is how these difficulties can somehow bring two people closer together. Maybe that's the reward for any uphill journey that a couple faces as they enter into parenthood.

8) I feel incredibly grateful to be almost half the way through this pregnancy. Not because I wish it to be over, but because I feel much more comfortable and assured that everything is going okay. I finally feel a bit "normal" in pregnancy world. Its a nice thing--- every time we go to see a doctor or have a test, I'm told that "everything looks great" or that "your pregnancy is completley normal." In many ways, I like standing out-- as in not being "normal," but when it comes to being a normal pregnant person, I'm thrilled.

9) I just felt a kick. And then I looked at yesterday's ultrasound again. Rinse and repeat.

10) I'm really glad I decided to write about my experiences. Not only b/c my memory seems to be a little shot, but because it allows me to really think and reflect. Later, it will be great to look back at this and remember all the details. At first, I was a little apprehensive about putting all my thoughts on display....now I'm really glad I have.

And back to #7, which is really the most important thought listed here, I found this: