They will have my heart.

The decision to choose a donor to help us have a family was a very personal one. We initially choese this option over adoption as the right first step for us. If, after a few tries, this doesn't work out for us, we will look towards adoption. But for now, we'd like at least some of our genetic features (from Mike) to be passed along in our family.

We've been very open about our decision. Even before we found the donor agency or the clinic, we told people of our plans...this was 5 years ago when people didn't know what to say after they learned that my ovaries were no more. It was our way of keeping ourselves (and those close to us who also felt a little sense of loss) hopeful & encouraged.

Here's our logic....they may not have my eyes, my ears, my nose, or my mouth, but they will have my heart. I 100% believe that. It will be my body that nurtures them. I will deliver them. My name will be on the birth certificate as "mother." I truly hope that they do pick up a lot of Mike's characteristics....as he's a great person with excellent genes (I may be partial as his wife, but still, he's great). There's nothing more that I'd like to say than "He/She looks like her daddy" if/when we get to that point.

Mike and I had one of the most amazing conversations right after my surgery about the exact thoughts I've outlined above. Its what he said to me "They may not look like you, but they'll have your heart and they'll BE like you. And that's all that matters. I don't want to have kids with anyone other than you and if this is our option, we jump at it together." It kinda took all the pressure off of me and my scenario. And we started saving so we could do this outright without having to take a loan. Talk about building a "nest egg"....HA! Seriously though, I remember that conversation like it happened yesterday. It gives me such strength and hopefulness as we enter into this process.

I'm sure its very difficult for women to make the choice to use a donor. But for us it was rather easy becuase our situation was so black and white. We had a problem starting a family the conventional way, so we solved it with a plan that we both embraced. So, they'll have my heart and that's all that matters to me.